HAVING A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE Part #3
"IS IT EVER TO LATE FOR A MARRIAGE?"

The divorcee rate proves that many have judged their marriages as hopeless. Things become so bad that a couple perceives dissolution as the only alternative. Are such marriages in fact hopeless? Is divorcee the only option? God intends marriage to be permanent, and He has given clear instructions so that it may enjoy His blessings.
We need to understand that God is the architect, and the builders are the marriage partners. Marriages break up because marriage partners ignore God's plan. If an architect prescribes steel girders, but the builders determine to use plywood, the structure will collapse. Many marriages use the wrong materials, and as a result it fails.
I. WRONG PLANS FOR MARRIAGE -
Not only are people ignoring God's plan for marriage, but others are submitting alternative blue prints. As desirable and workable as they may appear to be, when a couple follows them, their marriage usually falls apart. Then many think it is easier to start over. Some of the current, bogus alternate plans for marriage are as follows:
A. Women's Rights
According to this blueprint, the woman should have as much authority in the home as the man. Sometimes the wife is a stronger personality and more intelligent than her husband. Wives with such attributes will sometimes dominate the home, making most of the decisions and directing the family. Some appear to perform this role extremely well, but their success is only a mirage, for this plan goes against what God's perfect plan for marriage prescribes (Eph. 5:23-24). God's plan does not mean that the husband is better or more capable. It simply means that God has established a final authority in every sphere of life; in the home, the man is to be the leader and final authority. Serious problems arise in marriages where the woman "wears the pants". It is against God's plan, and consequently His great blessing does not rest upon such a home.
B. Children's Rights
For lack of a better term, by children's rights we mean the attitude that elevates children to a place of improper control over their parents. God's blueprint calls children to a proper respect toward their parents (Col. 3:20). Children under control as a result of clear lines of authority have been drawn are happy children. Fuzzy and inconsistent standards usually produce unruly children. Incorrigible children put great pressure on a marriage.
C. Permissiveness
This attitude allows things that God condemns. It says, "Just let your feelings go", "It's good to get angry"; "It may be helpful to one's marriage to run around"; Kids need to be allowed to express themselves as they wish"; "Let them talk back, swear and be worldly". These attitudes are not only non Biblical, but put extreme pressures on the home and marriages.
II. GOD'S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE
What is God's blueprint for marriage? What does the Master Architect teach about marriage and the home? Of many marital principles, here are the main ones that relate to the concern of this article.
A. For Life
God intends marriage to be a mutual and permanent commitment for life. (We understand that divorce does happen. We sympathize with and accept those who have gone through that terrible experience.) God's plan is one husband and one wife for life, Gen. 2:24.
B. With Love And Devotion
God intends marriage to be a relationship of love and devotion. There are many Scriptures that advocate marriage. Note the following verses, Prov. 5:18; 18:22; 19:14; 31:10-11; and Eccl. 9:9.
C. For a Happy Home
God has a plan for the entire family (Col. 3:18-21). This blueprint will produce a happy home.
III. REJECTING GOD'S PLAN
God has a plan for each of our lives. When we reject this plan we willingly reject the fullest blessings that God has intended for our life. The question needs to be asked, "Just why do people reject God's plan?"
A. Selfishness
Some people are just unwilling to do what God designs. Selfishness prevents them from fulfilling their God-ordained roles.
B. Inability
A greater problem is that of inability. The wife will not try to nag the husband, and the husband will not try to get angry; but they have an inability to do that which they know what is right to do. This is the reason why that scheduled family fun times are turned into disasters. The bottom line is that people don't act many times the way they would like to act. The SINFUL NATURE or our old nature is the common problem to our inability. Romans 7:15-20 "For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. [16] If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. [17] Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. [18] For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. [19] For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. [20] Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me." Also THE LAW OF SIN mentioned in Rom 7:21-24 tells us that we have an inability to keep God's law (including the blueprint of marriage). Some couples are powerless to follow God's blueprint for marriage because they are captives to the Law of Sin.
IV. GOD'S SOLUTION!
Many may ask, Just what is the answer? Can this inherited sin be so strong and so damaging that a marriage can be judged to be only Hopeless? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Remember, it's never to late. With God "all things are possible" (Rom. 7:24,25). By faith in Jesus Christ, people are delivered from the "law of sin", and marriages and other relationships can be restored. Marriage can be restored upon faith in Christ for two basic reasons. First, because a person is forgiven by God, he or she can forgive others. The past hurts can be put behind us, (Eph. 4:32). Secondly, Jesus Christ not only delivers us from the bondage to sin, but He also enables us to live lives characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22)
How does Jesus Christ rescue a person from the bondage of sin? How does a person appropriate His life and power in a personal way? First we need to trust Christ as Saviour. Jesus Christ bore our sins; that is, He suffered the fair punishment for our sins in His body on the cross of Calvary. Repent of your sins, and trust what Jesus Christ did for you on the Cross of Calvary as complete payment for your sins. The Bible tells us in Romans 10:13 "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Through this saving faith comes a living faith. By faith in Christ and through the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, we can manifest the Fruits of the Spirit which enables us to live according to God's blueprint for marriage and for life. Christ, by the faith of one or both of the marriage partners, may be brought into the none. The Bible says that by His stripes we have been healed. The dominance of sin is broken, and Christ's blessing (salvation) is possible (This is true even if one mate is unsaved, I Cor. 7:14). It is never too lave for a marriage.
In conclusion, Remember it is never to late for a marriage. Through the gift of Salvation and the power of the Holy Spirit, we can have victory in our life and our marriage. Trust Christ today as your personal Saviour. Rely on Him every moment for strength and guidance, and life will become peaceful, sweet, fulfilling, and everything that God intended it to be!

The Shepherd Loves His Sheep,
Pastor Bickelhaupt